This past week Washington State Senator, Maureen Walsh, proclaimed that nurses in smaller hospitals “probably played cards for a considerable amount of the day, ” (CNN). What she was specifically referring to, is rural hospitals with smaller number of patients/beds to take care of. What she underestimated in her ill-planned statement though is a true caregiver’s perspective.
True Love
You see, I was seven months pregnant with my first child, when my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer. We were blindsided by the diagnosis, let alone the late stage, and even the detrimental words “terminal.” We live very rural, a small lake-town that thrives off of tourism in our service industry businesses. And, I have to tell you, Senator Walsh was right: those chemotherapy infusion nurses, those post-surgery, seventh floor angels, those pain-control, specialty oncology nurses, they did play cards. I watched, observed, cried, thanked, and even begged them to keep playing cards to save my husband. Let me tell you about those cards they played:
When those masked, and scrubbed-in angels pushed my husband out on his hospital bed, down the corridors, and into his new “home” for the next 10 days–they played the card of who they should take care of first–their patient or the patient’s wife. They struggled if they should take care of the man wincing and crying out in pain, or if they should take care of the seven-month swollen expecting momma that was beside herself as she hovered over his body in his bed. They played the cards of wondering what they should convince that desperate wife and expecting mother of first: should she eat and feed that small babe growing inside her, or do we tell her she needs to sleep for the first time since they checked in four days ago?
Eight Months Pregnant, in for another surgery for an infection that developed.
Those blue-scrubbed Mercy Angels played the cards of wondering if they wrap their arms around that depleted wife when she was on her hands and knees begging God to relieve the pain her husband gasped for help with–or do they hold the small nine-month old chunky baby that was in the hospital floor playing with his toys to give that devoted wife a moment to just be her husband’s best friend and saving grace.
Those chemotherapy and infusion nurses–the real heroes in our story–they juggled the most cards of all. They juggled do we take care of the expecting momma, and later the momma of a five-day old, or do we tend to our patient’s every need. Do we take food, baby toys, or any of their needs to their overnight hospital stay, or do we stay home with our own families that we need to spend time with? They juggled whether they got to cry in front of us, or escape to the backroom to relieve emotions, when the oncologist said there was nothing more we could do. When those champion card players saw that frail, bony husband of mine disoriented, unaware of everything going on around him, and a momma carrying him on one arm, and their sweet year old baby in the other out of the chemo clinic–they played the card of what emotion they got to show that day.
Our “spot” at our doctor’s appointment every other Thursday. All day infusion, meant juggling lesson plan writing, grading papers, and a sweet baby taking a nap in between me and his Daddy’s chair.
Senator Walsh, you are correct. Our rural, country, small-town nurses do play cards all day–in fact, a considerable amount of the day. Wait–no– all day and all night. They play cards when they go home, when they are supposed to be with their families, when they are supposed to take care of themselves. They are master card players, the real poker faces in this game of healthcare. They play the cards of taking care of patients, taking care of patient’s caregivers, families, dying wishes, egos, dignity, and every single basic need in between. And while they are playing those cards, they are card sharks at playing their own cards of emotions, family, vulnerability, and juggling their personal time that they devote to their patients and their families. They attend funerals, they hold that wife and that brand new baby in their arms while they weep because they are standing at the coffin of a patient they loved.
They are card sharks. Poker faces. True Vegas-style card players. Yes, Senator Walsh, my husband’s country, rural-small town nurses play cards. The very best cards there are to play. And I couldn’t be more thankful.
A Champion for Nurses,
Joe Smith’s Widow
Kristina Smith is a widow, mother, Special Education Administrator, Colorectal Cancer National Advocate, Blogger and Amazon Best-Selling Author of “What I Wasn’t Expecting, When I Was Expecting: A Grieving Widow’s Memoir”
You can purchase your personal copy of Smith’s memoir here.
Firsts Beyond the First 
Thank you. You painted the true picture of the cards nurses are dealt every day. It is the card game of life that we play. We shuffle them in hopes that we have a winning hand and all goes well for our patients. Nurses are the Kings and Queens of hearts and the patients are our Aces. May the Lord bless you and give your strength, peace, joy and comfort.
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Thank you for voicing your perspective
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Thank you Kristina. Prayers for continued healing.
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First and formost sorry for your loss!
It brought tears to my heart and soul.
Lost my husband of over 40 years to Pancreatic Cancer last month.
As a nurse for over 42 years this is an awesome letter and
I thank you for how you presented your sad experience to the defense of nursing.
A job that sure is not easy no matter what nursing field you choose.
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All the best doctors and nurses are run ragged, all day long. And , no matter how tired, how stressed or how unappreciative the patient or families are, they do it for one reason…because they care. God love our doctors and nurses.
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Thank you so much and prayers for you and your family. I have been nursing for 49 years and continue to work one 12 hr night shift per week. We have never had time to play cards where I have worked. The size of a hospital does not matter. Nurses are expected to take care of as many as 7 patients where I now work. In small facilities, most staff wear many hat. One hospital I worked in, I was Nursing Supervisor for Inpatient, ER and the recovery room. I also did Social Services and Utilization Review. By the way, I was on call 24/7, having to either find someone to work or do it myself, if someone was out sick. Nurses do not have time to do all their work, and take a potty break, definitly not play cards.
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I also saw the card playing at Princeton hospital when my husband went in for gallbladder surgery and 15 minutes later the Dr.came in to tell me it wasn’t his gallbladder making him sick but terminal lung cancer! I saw the nurses trying to hold their cards where I couldn’t see that they had been crying! I saw the many different hands they played everyday trying to comfort my husband all the while never forgetting about me! I saw them put together a wedding in 2 hours because my husband wanted to renew our vows.I saw them stand up in that hospital room and give us the most special gift of an old fashioned wedding. I saw them stand and cry as they told the Drs.of my sweet husbands decline! I saw hands played everyday to make sure his last days were comfortable. I saw nurses who were getting off work come in and pray and the nurses coming on come in and pray! Playing cards seems to be a good thing to me. My husband passed away 12 days after his diagnosis and now almost 2 years later they still take time to call and check on me! This is a card game I’m thankful they played because in the last hand they were all in and even though they lost the only thing they saw was a great man leave this earth with dignity and peace!! Thank you 5th floor nurses at Princeton hospital. Birmingham Alabama
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Thank you. Such kind words to spur on a nurses heart and mission, words of thanks we don’t hear often but when we do are more than enough.
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Kristina,
Thank you for taking the time to write this blog, and sharing your story of such a difficult time in your life, to defend such a dedicated team of healthcare providers. Nurses aren’t nurses for anything other than the caring of others. It’s a shame to think that Senator Walsh could make such an awful accusation, just to pass a bill….then state her mother was a nurse! It makes one wonder what kind of nurse her mother was because, as a nurse of 10 years, I have NEVER had the time nor have I EVER seen another nurse play cards!!! Yet….if that’s what the senator thinks nursing is about….then she must have learned it somewhere. 🤷♀️
God bless you, and your babies! I’m sorry you had to lose your husband…but I’m glad you got the best of the best care…when you needed it most! ❤️
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I’m so sorry for your pain and loss. You told a beautiful story and thank you for that. Hugs to you and your family from Whitehorse , Yukon, Canada
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My condolences and prayers. God bless you and your family. Your words have such powerful resonance and unrelenting strength that I believe comes from your heart. Thank you. ❤️
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Thanks Jo for your post. Yes we have spent many hrs and days with family just like this,My cards was always played for the family I took care of. What a joy it was to know that I had the time to spend with family’s and play my cards so they knew we loved them as well as their love ones. Yes let this senator just for one day follow in the shoes of nurses for one day then she will see just how they play cards for a 12 HR. Shift.
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Thank you for this incredibly moving, spot-on writing about your difficult journey. This RN thanks you and wishes you the healing you deserve.
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Thank you, very sad but very true of what nurse life is like
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Soooo sorry for your loss. I can t imagine how much pain you have endured I have been a nurse for 48 years. It’s sad to think some have the impression of nurses just sit around. I ve primarily worked 12 hour night shifts and still never had time to play cards. However it did help me juggle family lift and attend my Children’s events a little easier… some it helped me part of Christmas and Thanksgiving celebrations for a short while before heading to work. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting nurses. It means a lot to us knowing we are appreciated.
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Your hubby is lucky to have you…I say is because he still does….thanks for sticking up for us nurses and for also being a colorectal cancer advocate. I too was diagnosed but it was caught in my case very early..in situ…not even stage one…I was lucky. Keep fighting the good fight.
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Med Surge/PCU Travel RN, Curtis S of Shelby N.C.,…..Thank you Ma’am for seeing what so many others do not. You’ll always have friends here in N. C.
So sorry, for your loss
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I have never met a nurse in my 40 years 0f nursing that played cards. You should work 12 hour shift. Oh no they turn inton17 shifts without bathroom breaks. Let’s see how that goes senator. Grrrr
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I don’t think the playing cards are what you think…its playing the life cards and how dedicated nurses are in dealing out help.😁
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Yes, Janir. My 12’s were never 12. God bless .
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You are a gifted writer the ability to grabbed my attention to read this in its entirety is something! To evoke a responce and give my email to you is another accomplishment…I d love to grow in new areas so to share my story as effective ….I feel called to write a book too…blogging I don’t even know how that works…God heals us as we reach out…I release HIS HEALING TOUCH TO YOUR VERY SOUL. JESUS LOVES YOU HIS FATHER LOVES YOU…FATHERSLOVELETTER.COM
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I hope you get my responce Shalom IN THE LOVE OF GOD FATHER SON AND HOLY SPIRIT ELOHIM
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Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss and pray for continued healing. ❤️
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As a nurse of 45 years, 18 at hospital and 17 in long term care rehab unit. I did play cards, put puzzles together and rooted for the Eagles to win the Championship. I worked only on Sat and Sundays 16 hr shifts. My residents loved to watch football with me and argue about who’s goi ng to win. The woman enjoyed the crafts I bought in. We attended Church together on Sunday. I was very close to each one of these residents. I treated them like they where my parents.So you see somehow or other everyone is dealt another hand of cards. I lost my parents, these residents became like my second set of (cards) parents. They helped me in my grieving process . I would had folded if it weren’t for them…….
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As a nurse I thank you so much you truly put my thoughts and feelings into words I have always placed my patients and their families first. You put a smile on my face today for seeing why I chose nursing in the first place. I care.
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Thank you for your beautiful words. This nurse will keep you and your little one in her prayers.
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God bless you
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This nurse also thanks you and will say a prayer 🙏🏼
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Thank you so much for the kind words, it’s the families (and patients) like you that keep us coming back day after day(to keep playing those cards) ♥️
The gut retching feeling we get when people are in fact told “there’s noting more”. Your right we do cry, some with you others in private.
I hope you find comfort and see your husband in your child, for that baby is a gift and a wonderful lifetime reminder of your love for your husband.
Take care and continue to be a star and a positive influence on the world!
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That is so beautifully written! My husband also was diagnosed with cancer, had months of treatment, and seven hospitalizations before he died six months later. The nurses were amazing! They cared for both of us, cried with us and helped us with all of our wishes. As a nurse, I appreciated them even more. I am so sorry for what you went through. Peace and love to your family❤️
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Thanks to you nurses that are doing there job and doing it for the right reasons I tried to do the nursing but my heart belongs with children and when u have five kids of ur own and three that are special needs it’s challenging day by day but I am blessed ty for sharing your story God bless you
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I am so sorry for your loss. I thank you for the wonderful words that describe a day in the life a nurse.
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Kristina, so sorry for your loss! Such a young life! Thank you for recognizing the true game of cards we as nurses play! I am happy for you and proud of fellow health care employees for walking with you on your journey and loss!
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Thank you for sharing your story. My prayers for you and your family. Your story makes me so proud to be a nurse.
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I’m so sorry for your Loss. That wasn’t fair for your husband to have to leave. I’m so thankful you are using your heart wrenching story to support nurses. This nurse salutes you! Many prayers for your family!
Rachael, RN
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In 37 years of my career as RN then CCRN-CMC, I never played at work. I have worked in many hospitals from the rural 40 bed to the over 700 bed hospital. Never did I see staff playing cards- that includes ancillary staff. From one need to another , we were involved taking care of patients, families, fellow staff members, checking labs, and making sure our patients were safe, and we, also, collaborated with physicians.
The story this young woman tells is poignant. And heartbreaking.
Maureen Walsh., come walk with me where I’ve walked. Come walk and observe what people experience and suffer. You won’t because HIPPA will prevent you.
You can sit in a quiet area and play cards and then interview staff. You won’t be able to complete an interview…you won’t be able to start. We won’t have time for ignoramuses like you.
Rural hospitals and staff are badly needed. They are the gateway to providing care locally to stabilizing those patients who need emergent care before being sent to a trauma center.
Mrs. Smith, I am so deeply saddened for you, your husband’s trials and loss, and the loss of your planned future for your beautiful family.You are courageous. No words can describe how I feel for you. I am grateful for the nurses who walked with you. You can be sure when they left work, they were still holding you in their hearts.
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No words can convey my feelings. Thank you doesn’t seem adequate. I am so sorry for your loss. My experiences as an addiction treatment RN are different in one way but so similar in others. I also watched Rn’s play their cards when caring for my Stage 4 pancreatic cancer ridden Mom and my Dad’s final heart attack. I watched them care for me post open heart surgery. I truly hope this ‘Senator’ reads your blog and all the resulting comments. She needs a lesson.
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Nurse are angels. Period.
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Thank you for advocating for nurses. So sorry for your loss….. unfortunately you got to see nurses in action. It is truly God’s work and a calling.
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Really I can care less about the Senators thoughts especially after reading your story. My thoughts are about you and your family and the awful situation that you have endured. As a nurse and simply a human being all I can do is send you prayers to get thru your difficult times. Thats the number one priority for me at this moment. As an RN, I will continue to do what I do and care for my patients and their families with all my heart without any thought to what the Senator had to say because to me all that matters is that patients and their loved ones get the treatment they deserve since this is why I chose this career which was to do my best to help those in need which is all that matters. Prayers being sent for you my dear but thank you for taking your time to share your story. ❤️
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Really I can care less about the Senators thoughts especially after reading your story. My thoughts are about you and your family and the awful situation that you have endured. As a nurse and simply a human being all I can do is send you prayers to get thru your difficult times. Thats the number one priority for me at this moment. As an RN, I will continue to do what I do and care for my patients and their families with all my heart without any thought to what the Senator had to say because to me all that matters is that patients and their loved ones get the treatment they deserve since this is why I chose this career which was to do my best to help those in need which is all that matters. Prayers being sent for you my dear but thank you for taking your time to share your story. ❤️
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That senator never needed us so she never got to she the type of cards we really play from emergency room to destination. when she gets the privilege to need us she will understand that we were trained to to save lives and comfort families with those special cards we play.
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I cried the whole time I read this. I have a 7 year old daughter. My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer 3 years ago. He has had about 12 surgeries in these three years. It’s the hardest thing to watch your rock be in so much pain. The nurses at our hospital are fantastic.
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Thank you for taking the time to write this. God bless you.
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Thank you !!! I am a hospice nurse and you truly touched my heart . Even through your own grief by sharing your story you are reaching others 💜 in many ways !! Thank you Again
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I’m so sorry to read about the loss of your husband. My 38 year old brother passed away from CRC a couple of months ago. Your story resonates with my experience.
I have been a nurse for 10 years, but I gotta say being on the other side of things is very different. I will forever be grateful for every kind act and response of every doctor and nurse in the 2.5 year battle that we fought so hard in. Kindness was everything during that difficult time. It still is.
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what a lame-brained Senator….she ought to follow a nurse for an 8 or 12 hour shift
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I worked as an oncology and hospice nurse for 14 years. Thank you for your support. I am sorry for your loss.
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Thank you for showing the true meaning of being an oncology nurse. We share an irreplaceable bond with our patients and their families…I’m sorry for your loss, but I admire your courageous compassion and outlook. Thank you for depicting that compassion, empathy and humanity exist….❤️
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My Queen won her battle with cancer thanks to the nursing and support system we had I am very sorry for your loss and great full for your story of courage love and strength through it all !!love to you and your family prayers for strength when it’s hard.
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I cried through your story, comparing it to the stories of so many I have cared for in my 49 years of nursing. If anyone thinks we do this as a hobby, for the paycheck, or because we want to play cards they don’t know anything about nursing. God gave ma a talent and I will continue to share it as long as these tired feet will carry me!
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Thank you for your support of nurses. Sorry for your loss. I am a small town nurse working in a nursing home and have worked in a hospital of a small town. You really get to know the residents and families very well.
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What a beautiful, yet tragic story. I’\m glad your nurses payed cards…this story makes so much sense. It looks like several people posting did not read the article. (assuming the nurses actually played cards…shame shame. God bless you
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As I start another morning in the chemotherapy infusion clinic at the VA, I want to thank you for reminding me of what I do and how much it matters. There are days when I wonder if all this chemo is hurting more than it is healing. But then I read your blog and I realize that sometimes it is days or even hours that matter to the person that is getting this chemo. God bless you and your baby.
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