This past week Washington State Senator, Maureen Walsh, proclaimed that nurses in smaller hospitals “probably played cards for a considerable amount of the day, ” (CNN). What she was specifically referring to, is rural hospitals with smaller number of patients/beds to take care of. What she underestimated in her ill-planned statement though is a true caregiver’s perspective.
True Love
You see, I was seven months pregnant with my first child, when my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer. We were blindsided by the diagnosis, let alone the late stage, and even the detrimental words “terminal.” We live very rural, a small lake-town that thrives off of tourism in our service industry businesses. And, I have to tell you, Senator Walsh was right: those chemotherapy infusion nurses, those post-surgery, seventh floor angels, those pain-control, specialty oncology nurses, they did play cards. I watched, observed, cried, thanked, and even begged them to keep playing cards to save my husband. Let me tell you about those cards they played:
When those masked, and scrubbed-in angels pushed my husband out on his hospital bed, down the corridors, and into his new “home” for the next 10 days–they played the card of who they should take care of first–their patient or the patient’s wife. They struggled if they should take care of the man wincing and crying out in pain, or if they should take care of the seven-month swollen expecting momma that was beside herself as she hovered over his body in his bed. They played the cards of wondering what they should convince that desperate wife and expecting mother of first: should she eat and feed that small babe growing inside her, or do we tell her she needs to sleep for the first time since they checked in four days ago?
Eight Months Pregnant, in for another surgery for an infection that developed.
Those blue-scrubbed Mercy Angels played the cards of wondering if they wrap their arms around that depleted wife when she was on her hands and knees begging God to relieve the pain her husband gasped for help with–or do they hold the small nine-month old chunky baby that was in the hospital floor playing with his toys to give that devoted wife a moment to just be her husband’s best friend and saving grace.
Those chemotherapy and infusion nurses–the real heroes in our story–they juggled the most cards of all. They juggled do we take care of the expecting momma, and later the momma of a five-day old, or do we tend to our patient’s every need. Do we take food, baby toys, or any of their needs to their overnight hospital stay, or do we stay home with our own families that we need to spend time with? They juggled whether they got to cry in front of us, or escape to the backroom to relieve emotions, when the oncologist said there was nothing more we could do. When those champion card players saw that frail, bony husband of mine disoriented, unaware of everything going on around him, and a momma carrying him on one arm, and their sweet year old baby in the other out of the chemo clinic–they played the card of what emotion they got to show that day.
Our “spot” at our doctor’s appointment every other Thursday. All day infusion, meant juggling lesson plan writing, grading papers, and a sweet baby taking a nap in between me and his Daddy’s chair.
Senator Walsh, you are correct. Our rural, country, small-town nurses do play cards all day–in fact, a considerable amount of the day. Wait–no– all day and all night. They play cards when they go home, when they are supposed to be with their families, when they are supposed to take care of themselves. They are master card players, the real poker faces in this game of healthcare. They play the cards of taking care of patients, taking care of patient’s caregivers, families, dying wishes, egos, dignity, and every single basic need in between. And while they are playing those cards, they are card sharks at playing their own cards of emotions, family, vulnerability, and juggling their personal time that they devote to their patients and their families. They attend funerals, they hold that wife and that brand new baby in their arms while they weep because they are standing at the coffin of a patient they loved.
They are card sharks. Poker faces. True Vegas-style card players. Yes, Senator Walsh, my husband’s country, rural-small town nurses play cards. The very best cards there are to play. And I couldn’t be more thankful.
A Champion for Nurses,
Joe Smith’s Widow
Kristina Smith is a widow, mother, Special Education Administrator, Colorectal Cancer National Advocate, Blogger and Amazon Best-Selling Author of “What I Wasn’t Expecting, When I Was Expecting: A Grieving Widow’s Memoir”
You can purchase your personal copy of Smith’s memoir here.
Firsts Beyond the First 
You just told my story. I was a widow at 27 years old. My young husband also was diagnosed with colon cancer when I was 5 months pregnant. It was an old man’s disease. Thank God for the wonderful nurses! Prayers for you and your family.
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I am a nicu nurse and the mother of a 28 year old young man who is fighting stage 4 esophageal cancer. I struggle every day to try not to “fold” .
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This nurse was awarded the “Daisy Award” for saving my husband’s life when the doctors only put him on observation. This nurse alerted the doctors and my husband was having surgery within a half an hour.
Guess there should be more “Daisy Awards” awarded!!!!!
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Thank you and my heart aches for you and your family.
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Thank you and God bless you
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Thank you, so very much, for being willing to display your own “hand” for the purpose of defending those nurses that became family. I am unable to even imagine myself in your position. You were thoughtful and concise in your delivery. You really hit me hard when you notes the almost PTSD, we as nurses, walk through our front doors at home after reliving that day’s shift over and then over again.
Thank you, from All Nurses and we are so sorry for you and your little ones loss.
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Senator Walsh needs to walk a mile in our shoes! She would not last ten minutes!!! I have been a nurse 29 years mostly in dialysis !
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Thank you from all of the “card-playing nurses” like myself – ❤️ Our work is never done, and for it we continue in the field we love, praying for God’s hand in all we do… to make a difference ❤️
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You gave this old nurse (over 48 years) chills and tears. Thank you and best of luck! Your husband was so fortunate to have you!
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Thank you for knowing how much of ourselves we give away to care for our patients—I’m the worst poker face ever so my whole “deck” was always on display. It’s a job I’ve loved AND taken very seriously for the last 40 years. Prayers for you and your precious family…..
Sincerely, another major card shark
Brenda Adams RN, CCRN
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I am an oncology nurse. Our patients and their family members become part of our family. Sometimes we see you more waking hours of a week than we see our own family members. Even though I was not your nurse, I greatly appreciate the kind words addressed to our profession. God bless you and yours.
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As a nurse for 30 yrs , your letter rings so true , it brought tears to my eyes . I’m so sorry for your loss , I can’t imagine how heart breaking that time was for you . Thank you for all you do helping others to heal with your power of words
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Thank you for sharing your story! I’m battling stage 4 colon cancer at 42 myself and can not be more grateful for the amazing nurses who bless my life daily. My husband is also a pediatric hospice nurse. The senators comments were shockingly disrespectful to some of the hardest working people I know. Your piece helped cover just some of the amazing things that nurses do. God bless you and your family!
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Thank you for the kind letter. This RN is sending you a big hug
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So sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words.
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Thank you for sharing. Your article addresses so much more than someone who disrespected our wonderful nursing/medical staff. It shows how to be strong and how to go on when life is so bleak. God bless you and I pray for peace for you. 💙
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I pray the Lord blesses you with peace…Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I have been a cardiac nurse for 26 years where I received transferred patients from theses rural hospitals. If it wasn’t for these hospitals where patients received the immediate life saving care, many would have died. Shame on Senator Walsh.
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Thank you for acknowledging and giving honor to us, Nurses! God bless you and your child.
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This is beautiful!! Thank you! I remember the 1st terminal cancer patient I cared for. She asked for nothing, but pain meds when they were necessary! How inadequate I felt, when she died. I had never been able to do anything for her.
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Thank you for setting her straight.
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I am moved to tears….the “cards” we play, that you so eloquently describe, we play because it’s who we are and it’s what we do. We play them because it’s in our core to care. Those of us strong Christian nurses play the card of praying with our patients or just listening to their needs as well. I will forever play the cards of blessing those who need me. #mysuperpowerisplayingcards
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As a nurse for over 40 years and a long time employee of a small rural hospital, as well as a 6.5 yr widow due to colon cancer, I can relate to your heartfelt support of nurses and the difficulty of going thru cancer treatment as a caregiver. Being in a small hospital means the chances are higher that we also know our patients in the community.. they may be extended family members or close friends, or a friend of a friend…..making it a bit tougher when the diagnosis is a hard one. Making it easier to go the extra mile to due our very best, not “hide and play cards” as Ms Walsh seems to think. Thank you for your kind words toward nurses.
And bless you as you raise your young family.
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Kristina, I admire you for your bravery going through this with your husband. I lost my sister to colon cancer last year and know what you have been through. I also have a sister-in-law who is a nurse, and I know first hand that all she does is sit around ALL day and eat, play cards, and sleep. (Sorry Gale, couldn’t resist) Her administration placed pedometers on the floor staff since they just knew there was no way they could be getting in 10K steps per day and wanted to jack up their co-pay and personal responsibility portion of their Health Insurance premium. Well, in a short time they removed all the pedometers since the floor staff were routinely walking 35K+ steps per shift. oops.
I know nurses work their tails off. So this State Legislator needs to be give a permanent vacation.
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Beautifully said, I, as a nurse crying reading this, thinking of all the cards I have played. Especially trying to juggle the card of death coming to my elderly pt dying all alone , sliding off into her room to hold her hand and quietly pray and then to run and play the cards of caring for my other 9 pts in my rural hospital.
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Wow! as tears fill my eyes, I thank you for your courage and strength in what must have been living hell and pray God comforts you in the palm of his almighty hand… nursing is not just a job it is a calling, and I am proud to be associated with such a wonderful group of men and women, Thank you my dear for your beautiful words…
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I have been a nurse for the past 43 years and have worked every aspect from OB-New born Nursery, to Neonatal ICU at Parkland Hospital Dallas Texas, and all areas of Critical Care through out the Houston Texas area. I have worked within the realms of large metropolitan hospitals such as St Luke’s/ Texas Heart Institute (Adult/Pediatric/and Neonatal Heart Transplants, Open Heart, and Cardiovascular recovery) and small rural hospitals such as Tidelands Hospital-Channelview Texas (all areas of nursing) and Nacogdoches Hospital Recovery Room (all ages od patients recovery from surgeries. The cards I played included my LVN license at 17 years old, a BSN followed by a MSN, then to further my knowledge to provide the most expert care to my patients I earned my Doctorate of Nursing Practice in 2011. Last but not least- my final hand at card was the Doctoral Degree in Education so that I can pass on the knowledge I’ve gained over these 43 years to new nurses joining the field of caring, sharing, and giving all we to our patients and their loved ones. The loss of a patient stays with us FOREVER!
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Thank you! From a retired nurse of 33 years and never once saw any nurse playing the kind of card games the Senator spoke of! May God Bless you and your family…
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I’ve been an oncology nurse my entire career. I’m so sorry you and your child lost your husband. Thankful you received such compassionate care and thank you from the bottom of my heart from sharing your story so eloquently.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you will find comfort in your precious memories of your loved one. Thank you for posting such a warm personal story.
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Being a nurse is a noble job. O have a lot of friends who are nurses. They are heaven sent to people. Always willing to help and to take care of patients. They dont have time to go to a break nor potty break. They put others first before themselves. Shame on you Senator! Nurses do not have a lot of time to stop and breathe…nor time to play cards.
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Thank you,, I have never met “your” nurses but have worked with a hundred more like them.I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer, also, while working full time as a nurse.
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A lump in my throat reading this. I have played cards like these over 30 years of nursing so I’m doubling down and going for broke 😉
She’s a joke.
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That woman needs a disease so she will experience life at the hands of the nurses…then she can flap her mouth !
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Let that ignorant woman follow a nurse or other medical professional during a shift before making such a ridiculous comment. God Bless all nurses and medical professionals.
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Thank you, and my heart breaks for all you and your family have gone through. Your words brought me to tears, and brought memories of the many patients ; and their loved ones) that I tried my best to offer solace to .
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Thank you from the bottom of this card playing RN’s heart. I don’t know how to play the cards with the Ace ♠️ , King, Queen and Joker 🃏 on them, never did like those kinds of cards, but I do know how to play the cards you speak of very well and I’ve been proudly doing it for 16 years.
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Thank you for sharing your very personal and moving article and for giving all the nurses on this planet the utmost respect they deserve.
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I worked er for years. Ya never stopped caring even after you left work. I was an er tech. You take your feelings home with you. Wondering. Did i make a difference in there stay. Or always wonder about them when you never see them again. Work over for hours. Multiple people at a time. No meals. No breaks. Just keep going. Tons of complaints. Paper work. Dr orders. Tending to children brought in with no family. A baby sitter. Taking time out to get them food. Clean them up. Just sit and talk with them. Not letting them now. I had fifteen other patients. I gave them my time. Never turned my back. My 10 hour days. And worked short staffed. And at that time as a tech. Very low wages. Time away from my daughter. A single father. I was a card player. Just couldnt wait to dump my child off some place. So i could just go to work and sit around and just deal a hand with my fellow nurses. And er doc. Thats the hand i wanted. Deal it to me doc. We have nothing else to do. That patient having his heart attack really doesnt need an iv very fast. No fluids. No meds. No ekg. No blood pressure check. Or temp taken. He isnt complaining. No pain. So keep dealing those cards! Oh! Nurse can i get some popcorn over here. And are ya going to play cards with me and the doc. There isnt nothing else going on. Oops. She had to walk a mile to go get her a cup off coffee. Then coming to play cards. Well doc. I guess we have to wait on the nurse to get back before we can start. Dang this is boring just waiting. Hmmm. What to do. What to do.
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Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. Your touching words for nurses in the face of your own loss and grief is humbling and inspiring, and heartbreakingly beautiful.
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Thank you for sharing
I to lost my husband to colon cancer 6 years ago
We found out he had it two weeks before Christmas and he passed feb 19 it’s so shocking and unreal
I can’t Imagine being pregnant and then having a baby why going through this
Prayers to you
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Kristina – thank you for this recognition of our profession in the sweetest words possibly from one that has gone through so very much. Hugs to you and your child. Thanks for being a champion for us.
Mary, RN
Nurses Playing Cards – FB group founder
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This was incredibly heart felt. It made me once again remember why I chose to be an RN. I am so sorry for all you’ve been through. Thank you for sharing.
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This is absolutely beautiful.
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So sorry for your loss. Thank you for such a beautiful story.
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I have been a nurse in a small hospital for a long time. Before that, I was a nurse on a neuro unit where many a patient lost their fight with something that couldn’t be cured. They all leave a special mark in a heart that has been broken over and over. But, I love my job and I love my patients. And I love the families that love so deeply. Prayers for you and your family.
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Sorry about your situation being a L&D high risk RN and a Oncology RN amongst other “specialties”, her words came across as insensitive.
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As one of those such card players as you just mentioned, may God bless you and keep you and your son safe. Thank you for standing up for my profession. I am a wife, mother, and a nurse. Life is tough and we are all dealt the cards of life and we have to play them to the best of our ability. Always put God first and you will be fine. God never deals a hand in which we do not come out on top as long as we put Him first. God love you and thank you again!
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Such a horrifying and heartwarming story. May God bless you and your family
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Wow nurses everywhere can appreciate ur words, yes we do play cards that tugs our hearts and emotions. Gud bless you n your family😘
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I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your baby. You should not be thinking of nurses in your grief but we appreciate your kind words. Thank you for everything you said. Your story really touched my heart. Life is beautiful and sometimes so unfair.
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